To eat is to live, but to eat is to die

"Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backward." -Kierkegaard

True, but I still maintain that when it is a loved one, I have no scruples restricting their diet.

“Wagner is a great, great composer,” she said, “but he needed a good editor.” -Justice Ginsburg

Although it is a rather bland Tuesday, this made it slightly ... less bland. I found this tremendously funny.

"You can only con someone who wants something"

Oh, but I do want the treasures of Stephen Fry, for who else can speak like he does?

"I have always disliked cool. For me it is simply another word for cold."

A man after my own heart. :)

EDIT: On the note of oratories, did anyone watch Obama's in Ghana? Brilliant stuff or empty promises?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/09/us/politics/09stimulus.html?hpw

It is striking how alike Obama and Ma's situations are. Granted Ma is far less of a "visionary", but I think that there is little the presidents can do to stem the economic plunge. Naturally, policy changes are advised and necessary, but people have put unrealistic [some would say ridiculous] expectations on leaders who cannot control the situations they have been put in. Personally, I think, within their capacity, they have done pretty well. Of course, I am still a fan of infrastructure development that would make FDR proud, but people seem less keen on that nowadays.

Personal note: Went to the NTNU library for the past couple of days. Rather like the environment. And very interesting book collection.

The Flames

Prime Minister Silvio
Berlusconi of Italy, the meeting’s host, said it made little sense for Group
of 8 countries to take on onerous commitments if “five billion people continue
to behave as they have always behaved.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/09/world/europe/09prexy.html?ref=global-home

Abrupt:

Although I agree that developing countries should embrace environmental protection [if not for the rest of the world, then at least for themselves (health issues and resource destruction)], this statement irked me. The thing is, they haven't always behaved that way [and because of that, became targets of colonization in the 19th and early 20th century]. In fact, the industrialized nations are the ones who have "always behaved that way", and even that is within the post-industrial time frame/context. This rhetoric is unacceptable. I reject it.

EDIT: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/08/opinion/08wed1.html

Gee, that is a particularly US-centric editorial...

From the Desk of the...

Sundays are always so much fun. Visited the "White House". The building itself was not particularly exciting [perhaps because it looks like a building O_O, and the Japanese built it -_-], but the 1st floor information rooms were exciting [how incredibly dorky]. First there were rooms outlining the construction of the building and the Japanese leaders who controlled Taiwan, and then there were rooms with artifacts and such from the various ROC presidents. Got to see Chiang Kai Shek and Chiang Ching Guo's stamps and sample outfit. Thrilling. When I get a chance, maybe I'll post pictures [so many]. This Sunday, maybe we'll visit the zoo :/ to see the pandas :)

Summer Blend [Part 1]

Well, since my last post complaining about typing in Chinese, I have had little time or will to make another entry [and still little right now]. However, I think I would like it if I recorded a couple of things before I forget them.

First

I visited the Taipei Fine Arts Museum this past Sunday, and visited the SPOT Taipei Film House afterwards [the fruit tea was splendid, but otherwise nothing particularly exciting to report].The Pompidou Art Exhibit [or rather a portion of it] was absolutely brilliant [lame adjective, but my vocabulary is broke for the moment]. While I never appreciated Picasso or Matisse [yes, atrocious for any humanities student], seeing the works in person does make their genius slightly more understandable. [Not that I don't understand Picasso's genius. I rather relate it to tangrams. He seems to view the subject of a painting as a whole, and thinks that the various ways to arrange parts doesn't take away from the fact that it is a whole.] But instead of focusing on the unpleasant, I'd rather focus on the pleasant. There was an absolutely captivating piece by Pierre Bonnard [The Almond Tree in Flower] [<--the picture does not do it justice] which convinced me of the beauty that exists in Nature, the kind that I rejected so absolutely. it captures the kind of exuberant declaration of life and regeneration that seems unreal. The story behind the painting was that Bonnard completed the painting in a year that the tree had a magnificent bloom, greater than that of previous years. Accepted, for it was O_O [it seems almost insulting to use an expression to describe it]. The second surprise was Georges Rouault. He supposedly was a rather depressed loner of an artist, intent on using the colder colors to express the natural depressed nature of mankind. After looking at two paintings [which I cannot find pictures of online], I searched his other paintings online to find that although the styles were similar, there still was a jarring difference. The ones in the collection [one of a vase and one of a skeleton] were not as raw or jarring as the ones online, but still had that rather free execution. I really have not specialized knowledge that would allow me to critique the works, but it just seemed more "expressive" than most other "expressive" works shown. Naturally, I went with my mother, and she [surprisingly] enjoyed the exhibit. She had a lot of favorites, but most O_O was that she liked the Miro piece Bleu II. In my head, I had predicted that she would think the piece ridiculous [she has a more traditional outlook on art], but she found it infinitely intriguing. Of course, it had a lot to do with the fact that the blue really was a beautiful shade, but the fact that she liked it was still a pleasant surprise. There were quite a lot of interesting works, but I'll limit my comments to those listed above.

Second

As I was browsing NYT, I saw that there was a discussion of the Chinese Language. How appropriate. I thought that I would make a few comments. First, I have always openly admitted to my elitism [although I can hardly claim to be part of the elite group, I heartily believe that that hierarchy should exist and should be perpetuated], and naturally I applied it to the study of Chinese. The issue of Traditional and Simplified characters was rather troubling to me, and I didn't think of it as a elitist/purist argument until today. Personally, I think Traditional makes a lot more sense, and a lot of the characters have a language-logic that some Simplified characters lack. However, after reading Eugene Wang's column [which I don't agree with], I have to say that there is another way of looking at things that I was remiss to ignore. I know the argument that the Simplified system increased literacy by ___% and increased efficiency by __%, however, I insisted that the average Joe, or in this case the average Chu/Lin/etc. should know Traditional, and use Simplified when, I don't know, efficiency was more of an issue. I suppose it is impractical, and I suppose I was just stubborn, but it seemed to me to be almost a crusade to preserve the Chinese language by studying the "traditional" form. And although I don't agree with his conclusion to embrace efficiency first, and then cultural refinement, I live in such a world [and abide by] such practices. Why can I admire Stephen Fry and his analysis of the evolution of the English language, and simultaneously be so obstinate and unaccepting of the evolution of the Chinese language? I never said I wasn't a hypocrite, but perhaps in this situation, I should be a little less "snobby" and retract my judgment.

Hope everyone's summer is going swimmingly.

打字 嗚嗚

最近終於可以識一識用台灣的電腦打中文。 別懷疑 一點都不容易，反而更難! 咳，真是! 好了，該去圖書館了。 改天再post了。

Unfocused lens

[Note: This entry, especially towards the end, seems needlessly personal, but I want to put it out there so that it is impossible for me to retract and renege on my promise to myself.]

Recently, amidst my frantic studying [I verily hate macroeconomics, the class, not really the professor or the subject], something, or rather, someone, not quite pointless caught my attention:Ms. Lesley Ma, a project director for Cai Guo Qiang [a dynamite specialist/artist].  Although the reason she is fascinating is not because she is Ma Ying Jeou's daughter, the reason for her news coverage is.  Why should this person be of any importance to me?  Her success and her skills, quite frankly, have nothing to do with what I plan to do in the future, which in case anyone missed the memo I never sent out, is international relations [lovingly referred to as IR].  Why indeed?  To answer, I'm afraid I will have to present a fascinating [or to some who aren't as interested in other's successes, a tedious] profile of what I know of Ms. Lesley through the media [which I am sure is not completely accurate, but we will have to make do].

[Note: I am certain that she, along with her mother and sister, would not appreciate the fact that I have consumed the very news clips that resulted from a violation of their privacy, but I am hoping that in the grand scheme of things, the inspiration I have gained from their example will clear away some of the guilt.]  So enough rambling - onto the point.  

The media provided background regarding Ms. Lesley's learning process and personality, tracking her various academic and character developments.  From K all the way to 12, she never went to "cram class" after school, and never, at least to the knowledge of the media, pulled an all-nighter.  Although her mother stated that the secret to her daughters' successes was not extraordinary intelligence, but a routine life style and self-motivation, I feel inclined to believe that Ms. Lesley possesses a well above-average intellect that was enhanced by those practices her mother stated.  Ms. Lesley is said to be quite talented in music, able to play multiple instruments well, and is said to be no slouch in art and art appreciation.  Her competence in English is astonishing, showing no noticeable accent, and boasting a vocabulary that would put the majority of American students to shame [no doubt a testament to the work she put into it, and her daily devotion to listening and reading English].  

She majored in Biology [or animal sciences or life sciences, something in the sciences], but is excellent at literature and the humanities.  Such a brilliant person is no bookish fool, no.  She is said to be a wonderful conversationalist, in addition to being extremely personable.  I am certain that this list is far from comprehensive, but I'd like to think that we comprehend the point, which is that she is accomplished yet not eccentrically so.

She is 28.  I am now 20.  While I am sure she has achieved quite a lot the last 8 years, I am equally sure that the volume of her achievement in the first 20 years trumps the last 8.  I suppose I am wording this dreadfully because I am not really concerned about her achievement, but her development in general.  She seems to be someone who contemplates issues/ideas, probably even more or more in depth than I do, but she has the capacity to enact.  The past couple of years, or my whole life, rather, I have been a machine - I do what I think I should do, and even though I am often sidetracked by my "interests", nothing substantial, in terms of character growth or intellectual growth, has come out of it.  Sure, I assign "meaning" to my thought escapades, but in reality, I should know better than anyone, that it is, if not completely pointless, fairly meaningless.  It really puts my life in perspective, and quite frankly, makes me believe that I have wasted it.

Although my [actual verbal] rhetoric may not reflect it, I am someone who dwells in the past.  I fixate on things/events, usually unpleasant, and find it hard to change.  But just this once, and hopefully it is an important "once", I want to change.  I don't want to be just like Ms. Lesley, becoming a dynamite artist and everything else that she is [and quite frankly, I couldn't even if I wanted to], but I want to use her as a model for my quest to find a better, more substantive existence.  I want both to know my goals concretely, and to leave room for a bigger and better dream.  I want to be someone who isn't bound suffocatingly by my thoughts and past declarations.  I want to lower my expectations of human interaction and simply interact.  I don't know how much I can change in the last two to three weeks of this school year, but I am definitely going to try my best this summer.  It probably will be a long process, but I WILL become a different person.  I know - I want to become someone whom I would admire.

And that is why Ms. Lesley Ma mattered, matters.

Regret on the Windshield

Well, being the dribble that my posts tend to be, I would hate for this one to be out of character as I am continually trying to work on my consistency.  It occurred to me that while I was always saddened by old people, perhaps middle aged people should deserve the lion's share of my sympathy.

Middle aged people who devote their lives to working, particularly men, but women increasingly so, often reach a point when their experience no longer is a bonus, but rather a defining characteristic that marks them as someone unwilling to be bold and be innovative.  It is remarkable how unprepared they are for that moment, and the subsequent regret and self-pity.  At that time, they often start to question all of their life choices and think about all the sacrifices that now seem to have little purpose.  If they have a family, they might repent for all the missed dinners or events.  But these things mean very little.  While I don't doubt that some people genuinely feel badly for their past behavior, for the most part, people don't regret their actions.  Instead, they regret that their circumstance has changed so as to give them the time and conditions to regret their past behavior.  Some are capable of turning their lives around and making those changes they always said they would, but even this would be impossible but for the change in their work pattern.

All of this doesn't particularly indicate that I am sympathetic to these middle aged people, but I would posit that despite their well-deserved 'tragedy', their relentless pursuit of something grander than themselves is worth a bit of sympathy.  You see, we all have ambitions, some people more than others.  These ambitions and externals pressures drive us to achieve more, to attain more, and to whatever more.  While generally we attribute positive characteristics to these driven people, when they fall into the previously mentioned situation, we pity and almost scoff at their misfortune, labeling them as 'workaholics' who didn't value what they had.  But they have devoted their entire lives to gain the praise of a society that likes productive people and ended up with nothing more than the realization that they have been duped like a buyer on eBay who dished out $1000 for something that was worth little more than $100.  Monumentally sad, it is.

That being said, it is worth considering what kind of a middle aged person I [or you] will turn out to be.  Perhaps after this rudimentary analysis, I may find that my work ethic or life priorities changed, or I may just continue down this potentially doomed path, waiting for inevitable spirit/soul destruction.

Happy Saturday.

Shedding the Harness Just to Take on the Yolk

Would it be so liberating to throw off obligations and expectations?

----------

有人說我是獨行俠

對他們，我只說:

你對人類的了解不夠

對我的了解也更是沒有

----------

I'm feeling this.

Use the White Chalk

"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying, and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." -Steinbeck

NOTE: Not a fan of Steinbeck, just thought the quote was nice.

I wonder what kind of pleasure the world would feel at my death...the way I lead my life now.

But am I to fear this amorphous 'pleasure' enough to alter my life code?  The thought of someone else's arbitrary standard of pleasure defining my life seems worthy of nothing but rejection.

On the Tragedy of Travelling and the Evolution of Female Entertainers

Travelling and me clearly do not go together as it seems I am either put on planes and left there for an hour, or they cancel my flight!  -_-  And so ended my nice and relaxing Spring Break.

-----

So recently, I was watching a couple of programs on Chinese satellite (outside of the normal political discussion ones) during the break, and 2 guests kept on reappearing.  They are putting on a show at the Sun Yat Sen Memorial sometime around now or in the near future.  Formerly, they acted out the movie version of Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Yin Tai [love story], but this was all very long ago.  In the interviews, it was very clear that they were very talented actresses in their day, and that they have aged quite a bit.  But that isn't the point.

Entertainers, especially female entertainers, are often viewed as people with loose moral standards.  Their choice of roles can either be a blessing or a curse - helping them improve such preconceptions or reiterate people's doubts.  Knowing this, imagine my surprise when these two actresses, so representative of their era, seemed almost conservative.  Certainly the same could not be said of current female entertainers.  Perhaps they did not seem so conservative in their generation.

This topic could certainly be expanded upon [and I fully intended to do so], but I am simply too tired and just want to stop thinking [what a dangerous notion!].  So I'll leave this half-developed idea on your doorstep to think over.

Dungeon

"Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us."

     - Oscar Wilde, "The Importance of Being Earnest"

Some of us clutch onto the 'very real' bits of life, embracing reality in its admittedly glorious manifestations.  Others gravitate towards the abstract elements that are forever 1 step beyond the grasp of human understanding.  Memory, it seems, is firmly in the latter categorization.  It is, however, fascinating to see how people like to sway it to fit their own life perspective.  

Mr. Wilde, I would like to pose a question: if memory really is a diary, why can't we selectively destroy entries, or even wipe it clean?  [Let us for conversation's sake leave out amnesia as it is very difficult to control a) its occurrence (except in dramas) and b) its scope.]

Muck

There are people with intelligence.

There are people with courage.

They make up the core of our human existence, but what should we do, we who are without either?  Are we doomed to be the muck of society for eternity?

Humorous

What exactly does an obsession with stories signify?

Squib Language

When did those little phrases we repeated as a young child lose their magic?

On the Dot

I want to learn how to throw these.  Any idea where to learn?

Bon Jovi, Does Your Song Really Apply to Me?

I seem to be really fond of these mini-posts recently.

As I was walking out of my dorm to get some beverages, I happened to meet up with one of my Chinese professors and another Chinese professor.  [I would like to note that they are both the embodiment of cordiality.]  Of course, I could comment on how I was incredibly retarded, stuttering and relatively silent, but that would be old news.  Instead of reiterating my communication problem, I will reflect on how remarkable their attitudes toward life are.  

We were talking about how they were going to the recreation center to play badminton, and I happened to remark that I was horribly uncoordinated and disliked exercising in general.  They commented that they are, too, however, they wanted to try it out, and that they were going skiing the next day.  Now, in comparison, they would be what we normally call, full of vitality and eagerness towards life, while I, well, would be called dull and cowardly.

My mother once remarked sadly, I suppose, that she doesn't quite know what happened to me.  You see, as a child, I was quite up for experiments and any sort of "fun".  In fact, my mother would have classified me as hyperactive.  Over the years, I seem to have developed a, "sedentary attitude".  How to define this attitude accurately...I would say that it is a mixture of physical laziness and narrow-mindedness.  With the exception of cuisine and media preferences, I am shockingly closed off to new things.  My leisurely reading materials are usually from the same genres that I've liked since I was a child, my clothes are stylistically similar, and my daily routine (if you can call it that) is pretty much static.  I can only conclude that I have become the kind of person I used to mock, and what is strangest about it all, is that because it was not consciously done, I cannot pinpoint exactly when it all changed.

After all of this rambling, the thing is, I am not unhappy with my life.  Of course, I would not classify myself as a happy human, but the reasons do not lie in my life choices.  However, it is quite regrettable that two professors, older than me, are more willing to embrace change than a college student who should still be in the impressionable years of her life.  

On quite a different note, I am recently listening to 不眠 by Fan Wei Qi, which although I've listened to before, I never realized how precisely it matches my reflections.

Ve Vapparently Luv Vulgar Vocabulary

[Note: Not really an entry as much as a musing/sharing opportunity.]

A swear word means nothing to me.  I don't understand what it inherently means unless someone explains it to me.  It isn't that it is shocking to me that someone would use bad language-rather, I just think that if they really wanted to communicate something, perhaps an actual word might fulfill the purpose quite a bit better.  Admittedly, when I was younger [not that I'm particularly old now], I thought it was singularly distasteful, but I have since adjusted my views.  Still, for years now, I have been irrevocably staunch in my belief that language and vocabulary affords us so many different options of expression that swear words seem superfluous.  Boy, was I wrong.  Why?  Because Stephen said so.  [Not that I will change my habits.]

Just Smile

I found a soap that I rather like: Dial White Tea liquid soap.  This event was but a little blip on my happiness radar.

Did you know that Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie 

suffered from depression during a period of their lives?  I am sure I did not get the technical scientific name of their affliction right, but in short, it was some form of depression.  For those of you not familiar with the duo, they were/are British comedians.  

Perhaps this is inconsequential and pointless, but I find it interesting that quite a few comedians suffer from psychological stress of some kind.  They who relieve the stress of millions through their entertaining, whether it be satires or antics, seem to fall prey to emotional unhappiness.  Why is it that the people who think these funny thoughts and scenarios are not cheered just by thinking up these situations?  When they think of it, do they not think, "Haha, that was funny," or even "That just made my day, it did."  

But no, these figures lead very complicated lives, often more so than the average person.  Perhaps this is where their inspiration for humor comes from - a kind of deeper insight into the human existence.

Look to the West

I know this entry comes somewhat prematurely, as I have just posted recently, but this is important...to me.

If you've read some of my entries before, you would likely know how much the issue of people contact puzzles/bothers/etc. me.  I have been searching, it seems, for quite a length of time to find a satisfactory response explaining the necessity and impact of that kind of interaction.  I wish this clip were longer, and that she spoke more on the subject, but I'll take what I can get.

Yes.  This is part of the 'why'.

"When Beaches Erode in One Place, They Grow in Another."

75% of the US population resides within 100 miles of a beach.  I'm going to assume that most people like beaches [weird assumption, but work with me].  If this is the case, there should be a feeling of helplessness and loss when they realize that that nice beach is actually eroding.  To be quite blunt, I don't particularly care about beaches, much less erosion [yes, ignorant and stupid of me].  I do care about losing knowledge, customs, and principles; or as Singapore's Senior Minister Lew Kuan Yew pinpoints, "the erosion of the moral underpinnings of a society and the diminution of personal responsibility."  Yew laments, "We have left the past behind, and there is an underlying unease that there will be nothing left of us which is part of the old."  What is this "old"?  Just how old is old?  

Yew is referring to a kind of ethical structure and societal hierarchy that provides the fundamental order society, at least Asian society, so desperately needs.  His concerns are not foundationless.  As countries all over the world sidle closer to democracy and individual freedoms, we convince ourselves that our responsibilities to society lie in our civil participation, ie voting.  Once we elect representatives, the government is obligated to solve societal problems. Then along with the erosion of knowledge, culture, and principles, it is as if we have forgotten our personal responsibility.  But cannot his perspective be applied to all that is lost generation after generation as we pursue modernization?  Fareed Zakaria elaborates, "Modernization...overturns the hierarchy of age, religion, tradition, and feudal order," and cites an example of languages' deterioration into "colloquial...irreverent" babble.  

But language evolution is arguably natural and beneficial to literacy rates.  How about just hardcore knowledge about literature and classic texts?  It occurred to me that my mother, and probably a lot of parents out there, beholds a level of literacy [albeit in Chinese], not to mention an extensive database of etiquette, that I will likely never attain.  Going back further, the knowledge my grandfather accumulated throughout his lifetime is gone forever.  The things not recorded, the things not repeated until embedded in memory, they are all lost.  Sure, our generation has technology, we have new knowledge.  We have rid ourselves of superstition as much as possible, and we have embraced science and technology.  Can this really substitute all that we failed to glean from our elders' minds and experience?  Why then do we feel increasingly bereft?  Or is it just me?

They say that beaches erode only to form new beaches elsewhere.  The veracity of this statement should be corroborated, but if we assume it to be true, I just have one question left.  Are they as beautiful as the ones that were washed away?

All the Things She Said

"我恨透了離開時候的關門聲, 我就他媽的把門封了。

誰都不准進來, 也他媽的不准走。" - 大S

Rough translation: I hate to an extreme point the sound of the shutting doors when (you) leave, so I (expletive) sealed the doors.  No one is permitted to enter, and no one (expletive) is permitted to leave.

There are many things to be said of these two sentences.

You could say that the language is not quite appropriate.

Or maybe that this is not-quite-reasonable reasoning [另類思考].

For some, it could be a warning against opening emotional doors to begin with.

For an escapist, these lines can never take on their full meaning for he/she doesn't ever face a completely real reality. 

 

Like with any author's work, it is impossible to profess understanding of what went through his/her mind when writing, so it is up to our interpretation.  We sincerely hope that we don't violate the author's mindset, and that we don't mar the beauty of his/her work.  She [ 大S] is no philosopher, much less an intellectual, but it doesn't diminish the kind of mesmerizing power of her dark emotion.

So after writing this, I have said nothing substantial, nothing that even begins to shine light on the significance [or insignificance] of these lines.  This subject is very fascinating for me though, as I have commented on it many times.  I suppose I was just wondering how someone gets to a point of utter isolation, and how he/she leaves it all behind to begin anew.  And during this time, just how much of his/her consciousness is occupied by brooding, and how much time is spent on diversion?  Isn't a room or space occupied by only you a heavenly sanctuary?

An existence that constantly seeks out happiness is just as sick as an existence that consistently dwells on depression.

And Who Steals The Show?

It seems that when school starts, two distinct fragments of life arise and we are left to try negotiating a reconciliation.  As this is nearly impossible [for me], this entry will pay a little tribute to both parts: life [reflection] and school.

---------------------

"Life"

Recently, I am reading Crisis: The Anatomy of Two Major Foreign Policy Crises by [who else?]

 Henry Kissinger.  [See right: cite Wikipedia]

For someone who looks exceedingly boring and...foreign, he has remarkable abilities in both writing and explaining [duh].  I say remarkable because not only is it clear and concise, but also engaging with a bit of self-deprecating humor [well, that could just be my interpretation].  Although I am not even close to finishing this book [actually, much closer to the beginning than the end], I felt compelled to comment on a portion.  

[Note 1: I'll first give you the parts of the book that I want to comment on, and then write my comments.

Note 2: The structure of the book is fascinating: explanation and introduction followed by actual transcripts of his conversations with various important people in the negotiating process.]

In explaining the Middle East War of 1973, Kissinger breaks it down simply into three parts [after saying that there were many components...?]: "the Arab-Israeli conflict; the ideological struggle between Arab moderates and radicals; and the rivalry of the superpowers, the United States and the Soviet Union."

Later, he summarized the impasse nicely, "Israel chased the illusion that it could both acquire substantial territory and achieve peace.  Its Arab adversaries pursued the opposite illusion - that they could regain territory without offering peace."

Although this conflict is obviously much more volatile than the Taiwan Strait issue, and has many more players, I cannot help but notice the similarities and the sorts of things we [as people concerned with the TS issue] could learn from this continuing Arab-Israeli conflict.  As far as I have gotten, Kissinger's telling of the crisis highlights the importance of direct communication.  It is a given that this was extremely difficult to achieve, but the kind of misinformation and intentional political scapegoat-ing is catastrophic in any potentially explosive situation.  The current mode of communication between the ROC and the PRC is semi-direct, thank goodness, but it could improve.  As President Ma said [not verbatim], not having direct communication is like shaking hands with gloves on.  [Note: The actual quote is from the NYTimes: Using such groups to conduct talks, instead of government agencies, is like shaking hands while wearing white gloves, Mr. Ma said. “If you wear a white glove, it is still courteous, but it is not your actual flesh,” he said.]

On a separate note, I would just like to comment on the following: no wonder Kissinger's name still carries weight and is a symbol of competence.  He can be light and still express a message [EX1: "If this keeps up, this is going--there is going to be a war before you understand my message."  EX2: "I don't myself believe that you would start a general war with a naval attack in one place, but you always do surprising things.  Could you get me the facts?"], and he can be fierce too [EX1: "If I kill some people and get the bodies to you can you get them out of the city?"  EX2: "When I ask you to do something, it must be done that second.  We have asked that two messages go to the Soviet Embassy and they have not gotten there yet."].  He carried out twenty-three constructive phone calls in the span of two hours and fifty-five minutes.  O_O Despite the war still breaking out, his efficiency completely clears him from blame for having not contained it.  After I finish the book, let's see if there are new conclusions about either the crises or Kissinger.

After typing all of this, it seems ridiculous to label this section "Life", as reading this book is not really my 'life', but as I fail at thinking up a different label, this incredibly dorky label will remain.

---------------------

"School"

Every semester I am reminded of a caption that my mom and I typed up for my second grade picture poster describing my life, "Little LeeAnn goes to school now," under a picture of me standing in front of Montessorri.  So first day of class for the spring semester, and what of it?

The first day of class is always the most exciting and hilarious.  Although it would be organized to go through the day chronologically, to be contrary, I won't do so.  :) 

The fifth class I shopped today, Macroeconomics, was a pleasant surprise.  Professor Zuleta [that's Colombian in case you were wondering] was just funny enough to keep the introduction lively, and just intelligent enough to show his mastery of the subject.  I can tell his perspective of economics will be valuable and straightforward.  Just as an example, he showed us a graph of the GDP of 4 countries [US, Venezuela, Ireland, and Colombia].  In introducing it, he said, "One of these countries is a winner, one is a loser, one is a miracle, and one is a disaster."  Although it seems rather blunt and obvious, it was remarkably funny to me.  Alrighty, enough on that.

The second class I shopped today was Introduction to East Asian Civilization: Japan with Professor Smith.  I have to admit that I am extremely prejudiced against the Japanese, and despite my use of their hardware, I have quite a deep hatred for them, or rather, their actions.  However, their civilization is still worth learning about.  Professor Smith, however, looks to be fascinating, and I look forward to taking the class, even if I cannot register for it [because I need to take too many classes].  His views on historical analysis and the function of history are a little similar to my Chinese history professor [who I was a BIG fan of], but his still have an interesting flair.  He seems to place a great deal of emphasis on impacts, and he likes to relate a lot of our cultural impressions of Japan to the influences that have shaped its history to begin with.  He had quite a few memorable quotes from the introduction lecture, but this one made me laugh [not verbatim], "And here we have Hello Kitty, which was also incredibly popular.  *Pauses and looks at the picture on the projector*  Why?  *Pauses again*  My favorite blogger writes about Hello Kitty saying that she has no story and even if she did, she has no mouth with which to tell it.  *Looks at picture again and shakes head*"  

The other classes I shopped were Introduction to International Politics, 20th Century China, Chinese 0400, and Introduction to Western Music, all of which were cool classes, but have nothing special to report.  More classes to shop tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday.  Fun week, eh?  :D

EDIT: This is cool.

I like the sketch.  Wish I could draw like that...or not 'like that' persay.  Whatever, I wish I could draw.

Decidedly Uncomfortable

As mentioned briefly in my last post, my passport expired, so I could not go to Taiwan ROC [too bad for them, they could have used the consumerism*] with my mother and grandmother, so this last week I have pretty much been a stone statue on my chair in front of this very computer [with the exception of getting food and drink].  While normally this would be heavenly [well, except for my mom not being home :(], it has somehow seemed a little less so.  I blame it on these blasted concentration forms [!!!] and being...inexplicably at odds with my father.  While I usually have nothing particularly pleasant to say of him, I suppose I can be honest and say that he's been nice, I guess.  However, it just seems like we agree on nothing [and I'm being absolutely literal].  I don't even know how we get into these bizarre topics, but all I know is that dinner is extremely easy to digest because I spend all my energy disagreeing with him.  

Just tonight we got into a very loud debate on whether the PRC would attack Taiwan ROC if it declared independence and what the reason would be [after discussing Obama's inauguration?!].  While it is obvious that a country may become prone to military action when its economy is not faring well, I argued that on this particular issue, it wouldn't matter if the PRC were economically strong or weak.  The PRC will not allow Taiwan ROC to declare itself independence no matter if it were the richest country in the world.  It is a matter of nationalism and territorial integrity with them, and with much of the Chinese population in the world.  My father, however, was immovably convinced that if the PRC were better off economically, they may reconsider their policy.  My hair is lucky to still remain on my head.

I know, I know.  No religion or politics at the dinner table.  So I guess you could say that it is my fault, but I seriously don't know how the topic moved from parents requesting Jan 20th to be a family holiday to PRC/ROC issues!

Anyway, I suppose I should return to these blasted forms.  I want my mommyyyyyyy!

Oh, but on a good note, she's coming back on Friday instead of Sunday!  WHOOOOOO!

In the case that you are bored out of your mind and need something, anything to read, I'll post another paper.  Tata.

* Asian Stocks Hit 5-Week Low

The Intellectual’s Undying Spirit: Yang Jiang’s Purpose in Modeling Six Chapters from My Life “Downunder” on Shen Fu’s Six Records of a Floating Life   

             The Cultural Revolution was primarily a political struggle that ensued after the failed Great Leap Forward.  In their efforts to suppress and eventually rid China of what the Party labeled “bourgeois influence” and to end the “continued social and political predominance of those who labored with their minds over those who labored with their hands” (Waley-Cohen 260), many intellectuals were transferred to rural areas to experience physical labor, among whom Yang Jiang was one.  Given the revolution’s politically sensitive nature, the importance and impact of a record like Jiang’s Six Chapters from My Life “Downunder” cannot be overlooked as simply a literary work or historical record.  Instead, it is necessary to analyze the way Jiang supplements one using the other, expressing things that would be otherwise difficult.  She chooses to model her piece on Shen Fu’s Six Records of a Floating Life, either to emphasize similarities between her account and Fu’s, or to mark the differences, but more likely to the former.  While it is difficult to state authoritatively that Jiang means to evoke certain ideas and influences and not others, it is clear that she wishes to draw on Fu’s structure and perspective to evoke parallel occurrences in her time, express the tenacity of the intellectual spirit, and the inevitability of social stratification.  In other words, Jiang uses what Six Records of a Floating Life represents to reflect on the failed revolution.

            Before dissecting Jiang’s work, it is necessary to establish the context of Six Records and what the work represented to its Chinese audience.  At first glance, Fu’s story is a love story accompanied by life snapshots.  In fact, it is difficult to dispel this notion even upon closer examination, but beyond Fu’s obvious love for his wife Yun, is the perspective of an educated person of his time.  Although educated, Fu was not a government official, and therefore, not a part of the ‘intellectual elite’.  He mentions studying with his father, and, after marriage, left home to study with Mr. Chao Sheng-chai at Wulin, only to get secretary-like employment.  During a period, he even sold paintings for income.  Based on the historical background that Leonard Pratt and Chiang Su-Hui provide, this likely is an indicator that Fu did not pass the civil service examinations.  This is quite important when analyzing intellectual waste as portrayed in Jiang’s writing.  Although Fu himself was not part of the elite, the notion of social stratification emerges unintentionally throughout his writing, which is an aspect Jiang draws on to create irony in her own writing.  Lastly, Fu’s style of telling and retelling his experiences from different perspectives is a unique mechanism of cohesion that Jiang draws upon but modifies, further emphasizing layers in society and in thought.

            During the revolution, bourgeoisie cleansing focused on class revolution, and Jiang approaches the topic of class revolution with conflicting tones of sincerity and irony.  She creates almost a sense of enlightenment when she relays her impression of mud,

“I had always felt that mud was a terribly dirty substance, full of spit, snot, feces, and urine.  But the effect of having it ooze up through my toes was a feeling of intimacy with the soil; I saw it as something slippery – almost creamy – rather than something dirty from which I wanted to shy away. …I had to laugh at myself: could this be an indication that my views were undergoing a change, that I was gaining a new ‘foothold’?” (Jiang 26)

Just as Jiang believes she has experienced being part of the “collective spirit” and “camaraderie” and tasted the sense of “belonging” (Jiang 26, 30) in appreciating the nature of labor, it is saddening and ironic that “‘students’ at the cadre school were [still] viewed as outsiders by the people we called our teachers – the poor and lower-middle peasants.” (Jiang 30-32)  During Fu’s time, however, class distinctions were more acceptable, but because Fu wanted to project an image of crossing those lines and being kind and charitable, it is clear that class stratification existed; differing in which class comes out on top.  In his travels, Fu meets a fisherman, and believing himself to transcend occupational and class lines, thinks he understands fishing apparatus.  Being told otherwise, he states with a note of surprise, “Evidently my quick glance was not enough to fathom the net’s mystery!” (Fu 117)  This attitude sometimes crops up as almost patronizing, especially when he attempts to praise a group of people he does not really understand.  Later, he almost clinically observes the behavior of field hands,

“They addressed the owner as ‘landlord’, and were obedient, sincere, and pleasant.  If angered by unfair treatment they became wilder than wolves or tigers, but if spoken to pleasantly as equals they quickly turned submissive.”  (Fu 135)

No matter how poor Fu is or how many hardships he and Yun experience, they will never truly understand the peasant mindset, just like no matter if Jiang toils, she will never be a part of “us” (Jiang 30).  Jiang wishes to evoke the same feeling of class distinction to create the irony that appears so frequently in her writing, emphasizing the inevitability of stratification. 

            Jiang laments the inefficient use of human capital throughout the text.  It is clear that people of Jiang and her husband’s intellect were forced to squander their talent during the revolution, but it is seems less noticeable that Fu’s account also relays a different kind of wasted talent.  In a time when the civil service examinations dictated the success and failures of educated men, people like Fu either flew under the radar of the government or wasted away their days living lives of leisure.  Fu’s employment was either a result of being “a friend of a friend” (Fu 85) or seemingly unrelated to his education at all, selling paintings.  Despite the societal mold that seems to squander human capital, Fu wastes himself the most by his life choices.  This is a contrast to the helpless forced waste found in Jiang’s situation.  She highlights the circumstance, not by pointing to herself, but to her husband in a scene that seems ironically comical: “On his trips to the post office, he often helped one of the workers there decipher some of the hard-to-read Chinese characters…[and was] reward[ed]…for his efforts with glasses of tea.” (Jiang 89)  However, the worst example of waste is “dismantl[ing] [of] all the structures [they] put up”, leaving nothing but “empty land strewn with clods.” (Jiang 50)  A group of people sent to understand the meaning of labor, only to see that there is no lasting impact, resulting in the same waste of human talent as in Fu’s time.

            While both Six Chapters and Six Records paint a social image, they are considered love stories and approach gender issues in a surprisingly open-minded way.  Jiang’s marriage is one of near-equals, reminiscent of Fu’s marriage with Yun.  Although Yun is less educated than Jiang is, her appreciation of poetry and ability to engage in word play with Fu is one of the characteristics that endears her to him in the first place.  Yun challenges societal norms throughout the piece, but often vacillates between being a modern woman and a traditional one.  She laments, “What a shame that I cannot go just because I am not a man,” (Fu  44), but contrasts it with, “…I will not be able to serve you for all your life.” (Fu 88)  Jiang evokes a very similar feeling in her interactions with Mo-cun and other males.  Her insistence on walking Mo-cun back to his dormitory, is followed by a description of a stereotypical woman who “los[es] [her] bearings as soon as [she] leave[s] the nest.” (Jiang 77)  This kind of almost self-contradiction appears repeatedly as she labels a male named Little Ox as “chauvinist”, but follows with her own insecurities about her ability to find water for the well.  (Fu 25-26)  Jiang uses Fu’s female-male dynamic as a support for her love story, but also to show both the progress and stagnation of female societal status.

            For all the hardships Jiang endured, her work showed that in spite of it all, there would still be leisure, adventure, love, misunderstanding, and social issues that can be felt through life’s less important experiences, just like in Fu’s text.  Although it is arguable that Jiang really did experience a kind of change in character that Fu does not, Jiang herself claims,

“I now understood something more clearly than ever: after undergoing more than ten years of reform, plus two years at the cadre school, not only had I not reached the plateau of progressive thinking that everyone sought, I was nearly as selfish now as I had been in the beginning.  I was still the same old me.” (Jiang 98)

In drawing connections between Jiang’s P.R.C. period and Fu’s Classical China, a time the coordinators of the Cultural Revolution desperately wanted to sever ties with, Jiang effectively illustrated the failure of their venture.

Bibliography

Fu, Shen.  Six Records of a Floating Life. Penguin Classics.  London, 1983.

Waley-Cohen, Joanna.  The Sextants of Beijing. Norton.  New York.  1999.

These Days I Think About Nothing Important

I suppose I'm a little overdue for an update if I

 don't want to type my fingers off the next time I post.  Yes, I'm driven by possible consequences, but aren't we all?  [Insert: As many people are going back to school

, I'll just say a general good luck at school and have a brilliant semester.]

This past week, I left home for the first time to visit friend(s).  Although visiting Houston was brilliant, I have to say, it is still inc

omparable to living at TAMS with TLLR, but I'll take what I can get.  :)  On a sidenote, I felt remarkably conflicted, as I seldom feel old and immature simultaneously.

As the details of my visit are likely only interesting to me, I'll just touch on a topic that might have a more general audience, like a movie.  We three watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Albeit some parts were trying a little too hard to be though

t provoking, the overall effect was good. The part that bothered me the most, though, was the old lady's [the one that he can't remember the name of] view on death. She said something to the effect of experiencing death is how we know the importance of a person on our lives. I adamantly believe that if a person cannot concretely know another's importance in their lives while still alive, then the other was simply not important enough. Unless the person imparted some bit of wisdom that was never useful until much later [presumably after the person's death], I fail to see why someone would be ignorant of another's impact.  This bothered me quite a bit in addition to the general sadness of the movie.

*Insert tragic story of my passport being expired and my last minute cancellation of trip to ROC.*

Back in Dallas, I was thoroughly moved by a teddy.  My mother and I saw an adorable and soft bear at Barnes and Noble, and in passing, I mentioned its trait

s, and lo and behold, when I returned, there it was sitting on my dresser.  As I am too lazy to go downstairs and dig through my suitcase for my camera charger, I will not post pictures until a later date.  But more importantly, this bear caused me to consider the idea of companionship.  

It is no secret that on the social spectrum, I am much closer to the loner end than the social animal one.  To be absolutely blunt, if not for my mother and old friends, I would not feel inclined to interact or participate in any social gathering [of

 course excluding professional ones].  When I do things, I like to be alone with my music.  I suppose the most sociable side of me appears when I am online, where I often seem like a completely different person.  *Think less extreme version of Brad Paisley's "Online"*  So what exactly does this bear represent to me?  I don't need stuffed animals to go off to dreamland, nor do I take it with me everywhere.  So just why do I treasure its presence in my life?  I came to the conclusion that the bear's value lies in two aspects.  The first is of course my mother's considerate action.  The second took a little longer to isolate.

Logically, a stuffed animal is a simply a furball stuffed with fluff [or beans], with some exterior decorations.  So as I was contemplating, it occurred to me my first thought when I saw the teddy, "It's incredibly adorable," or actually, "也太可愛了吧!"  I figure that this is an indication of my neverending desire to surround myself with pleasant looking things, finding an odd sort of inner happiness when I can bask in their beauty/cuteness.  If this is the case, then I suppose I come back to an established truth: I am very superficial.  In a world where we are all brainwashed from a young age to "Never judge a book by its cover," and to value people's inner selves, I seem stunningly unaffected.  Truthfully, I don't quite care if my new teddy has a heart of gold or one that is liable to faults.  Of course, I would like to think that my teddy isn't intentionally malicious, but that is simply because I would probably feel a little uncomfortable keeping it in such close distance.  Otherwise, I couldn't care less.  As weird as I am, I don't believe

 that I am alone in this mentality.  Based on this assumption, a more troubling issue arises [at least quite troubling to me].

If I can treat books, stuffed animals, or even other people like I do, then why is it that I can feel wronged, or at least not incredibly happy, if other people, say, an employer or potential friend, did the same?  Well, although it is a question, I figure the answer should be that I can't really do that in good conscience, leaving me with two options: either change my external appearance or continue with my disregard for it.  As of right now, I have no intention t

o change my questionably stupid habits, but it does give me food for thought.  Although this thought exercise was quite worthless, I am happy that I went through with it.  Because of it, I can try to lessen my need to express my principles or thoughts verbally.  Answering when others ask intead of volunteering should save quite a bit of effort.  

After this whole long bit of babble, I'll end with, "What a cute teddy."

EDIT:  Here we go.  His name is 小雄  [Little Hero, but sounds like Little Bear.  HEHE]

So Flies By

The semester that seemed both to fly by and to never end has finally come to an end.  Reviewing the time in my mind, I feel like my life has gotten a little off-track and perhaps I may have some psychological problem, but that is a subject for another day.

As of right now, I'm fighting with my luggage, which you wouldn't think would be a formidable opponent.  And after that battle, that we still don't know who will come out on top, I have to drag it through snow to Faunce House to wait for a shuttle.  If home weren't so appealing...

I was playing around and finally decided to check out Wretch.  Although I read some people's blogs there, I've never really tried it out for myself, and I have to say that even though Google Blogspot's interface is decidedly easier to use, Wretch is a lot 'cooler'.  The integration of, well, almost everything a 'blogger' could want to...integrate.  [Note: It seems I am word-deficient after my exams...]  That being said, most of it is in Chinese, and although I'm learning, and fare...ok sometimes, it is just a little more difficult than I would like.

----------

And because I will probably not be back here until after Winter Break is over...Merry Christmas.

Forgive Me My Unfilial Behavior + Crystal Orb

Huh, unbelievable that I would want to post now, especially after such a concentrated attack of posts last week, but here I am.  This is a scattered post-not very well organized, but has been on my mind for some time.

Thinking point progression [in some ways a continuation of the May 14th post]:  Why do people feel that leaving a legacy, whether children [or some sort of achievement], is so important?  Why is it a "family duty"?  This revival started as I began to ponder the implications of 不孝有三，無後為大 [there are 3 ways to be unfilial; the worst is to not produce offspring] after watching Rock, Paper, Scissors [the drama], and various other dramas over the years.  The grandfather, aka CEO of Wei Enterprises, said that once he sees the birth of his great grandson, his duty to the Wei family will be complete and he can die a happy guy.

I could be fairly insincere and argue the point that in the age of potential overpopulation, it should be a family duty, or at least a societal duty to not reproduce, but as most people don't quite care about this at the expense of their "life happiness", I'll can that bit.  Instead, I'll try it from a different perspective that perhaps is equally insincere - we'll see.  It would seem to me that everyone has different interests, and as we form relationships throughout our lives, people important to us will at some point have conflicting interests.  How many people [let us call them People A] are hurt by people who [let us call them People B], in fulfilling their obligations to other people important to them [let us call them People C], cannot fulfill their obligations to People A.  Most often, People A are significant others or friends, and most often People C are grandparents or parents.  Poor People B can be anyone who feel this applies to them.  For a person to take full responsibility for the care of their parents, joyfully I might add, shouldn't that be even more filial?  Putting their needs first should be the most filial.  Why is reproduction number one?

In the age of ancestor worship, I suppose it is justifiable to say that without descendants, ancestors would fear abandonment, but this is not common nowadays, or at least not as common as before.  Even if ancestor worship still exists in many areas, few great-great-great grandchildren still worship their great-(great x n) grandparents.  The predominant relationship that gets attention is the parent-child one, occasionally the grandparent-child one.

...I'll be hopelessly blunt for the last point, ...and shamefully selfish [the negative kind].  Grandparents or parents who think that they can die peacefully after seeing the birth of their (great) grandchildren seem to me to be irresponsible and inconsiderate.  Say a person doesn't want children, but does so out of responsibility to their elders.  After the elders' death, the person is left with a child that he/she didn't want in the first place and a painful reminder that the person(s) who wanted it [the child] is gone.  Yes, I understand that most "normal" people want children, but I figure that there are enough people who don't for Mencius to have come up with the saying in the first place.  

Side Note: Besides, children leech off of a parent's affection and efforts until the parents are old and dry.  In the parent's eyes, the child is always number one, and only after a certain age or significant event does the parent become number one in the child's eyes, if even then.  I am determined for that not to happen to my mother.  

Perhaps I'm naive - or just ignorant.  Maybe one day I'll regret the words that I type now, but I really fail to see the importance of leaving a "legacy".  Although I do enough things that make my mother worry and angry, I try hard to be filial.  I suppose this seemingly outdated belief will brand me, despite all the things that I sacrifice or do.  

I don't know how I ended up at this, but "it's my life" - is it truly?

---------------

On another note, Obama won.  :/

I am fully aware that most everyone I know is utterly inspired by this persona, but I really fail to share the enthusiasm.  I hope he does well for the sake of the US, but I don't anticipate a good presidency.  He puts too much stock in change.  The 1st year of the presidency is the most important to get things done.  Afterwards, the president meets up with barriers that pop up all over the place.  Waste the 1st year doing massive change, and he'll be stuck in a rut for the rest of the time.  Not to mention the fact that he's another isolated intellectual type.  Communication with military staff and lower levels can potentially be a huge problem.  Hopefully he'll prove me wrong.  Congratulations to him.

Outstanding Death

Before we continue to the point within the important point, here is a thinking point.  :)  In this life, we all spend an exorbitant amount of time searching for people we can hurt, for that is what family and friends are, a bank of people we habitually hurt and make up with.  Is it then true that hermits are the least harmful people in society, if they can even be considered part of a society?

On to the main show.  I was thinking about Paul Newman for the past couple of days, not continuously, of course.  I'll confess that I am more a fan of Robert Redford, but after watching him in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, it is very difficult to not appreciate his talent and the vivacity he exudes.  Be that as it may, I have not done extensive research into his life, so what better resource to review his life than a tabloid [I take what I can get].  Anyway, throughout the "report" they mention how humble Newman was and how he perpetually viewed himself as a working actor, rather than a ridiculously successful movie star.  They mention how devoted to his wife and kids he was.  The whole article was essentially a post-mortem kudos to Newman, which likely, was deserved.

My mom once told me that I was born in the last time frame of Pisces, the significance being that I am prone to think about death.  Excellent.  [Sarcasm]  But how true.  Newman's death and the subsequent praise he received made me wonder if he had anything left on his life checklist to do that he might have been able to do had he reduced the number of charitable works he did, or even spent less time with his family.  His family states that he lived a satisfied life, and that he was fulfilled up until the end.  Is it possible to be unfulfilled and not let those closest to you know, to spare them that empty feeling?  Uncharitable as it may seem, when death comes, are we seized by selfishness?  Is it wrong to be?

I figure I'll know when my time comes.

----------

For those of you interested:  

Strait Talk update: Going, hmm, not so smoothly.  As of right now, the Taiwan ROC delegation still has 0 applications.  :/  If you have any contacts at the university level, either student, professor, or administrator, please refer them to http://straittalk.org.  Thanks.  Can't help but wish I knew more people older than like 16 in Taiwan...

Life update: Chinese test this Friday!  Ah.  Undoubtedly will perish.  Chinese history midterm next Thursday.  I will rise after my Chinese test only to perish again.  Sigh.

Hurdle

Before we enter into the subject matter at hand, personal update:  1st test of the semester.  Hopefully not disastrous, but I could have done better if I could have just sped up a bit.  It is really ridiculous how slow I work.  Tortoise, I could give you a run, or stroll rather, for your money.  But on the good side, I did fairly well on my China map quiz.

My mother and I had a slightly extended discussion on "fitting in", something I clearly do not do well [and something she is pretty phenomenal at].  It was simply an exercise in ego boosting [note sarcasm].  Naw, it was pretty harmless, but she did say something that became food for thought.  The procedure for partaking in a conversation, and the prerequisites for doing so.  She maintains that conversation is a simple endeavor - just whatever you feel like saying, without consideration for what comes out.  That is how you make friends [just being foolish and young together].  I contend that you should have at least some sense of what you are saying for there to be a true exchange of ideas, the definition of a conversation [subjective definition].  If you are without, and say that the other person is without as well, where is the exchange?

While I engage in this "debate", a video plays in the back of mind, fully pointing out a contradiction in my personal perspective [quite infuriating that your personal OS is on another person's side :/].  The video was of FanFan [1 of my 2 favorite- favorite  artists].  [Full name: Fan Wei Qi or Christine Fan]  She, as most people know, branched out into hosting about 2 years ago.  She is rather famous for her incessant [not annoying] use of filler words.  It seems like 30-40% of the words that she says are filler in nature.  Why then, do I not feel that her conversation is worthless?  Essentially, what makes her verbal contribution worth more than the idiot who spouts nonsense when speaking with others?  The conclusion that I came to, fairly obvious and already discovered, was that I was a hypocrite.  As I said, not new news.  I hold different people to different standards.  That is something I have accepted about my skewed world.  

Taking this into full consideration though, I still feel that there is a debatable point.  I believe that there is an inherent difference in charisma that makes the situation completely different.  For someone who is engaging and innately intelligent, lapses in speech, or even continuous use of filler words, are tolerable and often times adorable.  Every word fuels some sort of emotion and creates a greater picture of their personality.  They inject life into a conversation.  For someone who cannot paint that kind of picture, not unlike myself, nonsense is just what it is: nonsense.

What is the significance of this rather intuitive thought process?  Simply to understand myself [or yourself] and my projected personality.  If say, a person believes himself/herself to be charismatic, and seems to actually be so, then conversation is as simple as my mother believes it to be.  Please note that my mother is said type of person: full of life, charisma, and humor.  If someone is not a lucky possessor of that characteristic, then nonsense/filler-words/uninformed conversation just perpetuates a "loser-image".  I may be way off in my conclusion/impact, but at this point in my life, life is way too short to spend it on meaningless conversation.  Perhaps that is why I have become as silent as I have [typing aside :)]

How Dry

"Why no people?"

Mind Games

Insert: Strait Talk application is up.  http://www.straittalk.org/

Conclusion: Apply, Apply, Apply

-----

9/12/08: There are times when it would be helpful to have a lot of knowledge about neuroscience.  Perhaps, it would always be helpful, but in the context of emotions, it seems fitting to understand how the brain processes the world and changes the inputs into feelings.

I was reading a work of fanfiction [yes, I still do that] during my break today, and a surprising number of them revolve around someone, usually the male, requesting the female to leave with him to some place where they can start anew.  This model, apparently, is very well received as people perpetually write some variation of it.  Sifting through the comments that these pieces usually receive, I inevitably find "aw's" and "so sweet" or something similarly bland.  Why is it that there is no description beyond these filler words that imply positive feedback?  What exactly is so 'dreamy' or 'romantic' about someone asking another to drop everything and everyone in his/her life and leave?  Why is the notion of sacrifice so appealing when considering love [romantic, parental, etc.]?  And why do impulsive behavior/requests have a higher romantic value than careful consideration?

Careful consideration would almost seem more valuable than impulsiveness simply because the person considered everything and tried to solve the problem, factoring the other and the other's interests into his/her plans.  Impulsiveness, in most situations, leads to less than optimal situations in which the participants have to use their 'faith' [non-religious sense] to get through.  To be extreme and slightly unreasonable, perhaps, people are innately masochistic.  To be less unreasonable, I suppose it is that feeling that he/she want the other to be the only person they know in a new environment, which could still be possibly disastrous.

The last puzzling thing [or the last important puzzling thing] about this is whether these situations are really that romantic for so many people.  I am tempted to think that it is really because people observe how quickly and naturally others react to this kind of request, and how positive the response is.  If that is the case, am I affected simply by processing this puzzling circumstance [despite not being an atom...alright, that was a bit lame]?  It would be ideal if I could be a bystander [without being intrusive in a private interaction] and when this kind of request occurs, and the subsequent swooning occurs, ask "Why are you affected by this extremely selfish notion?" [without sounding that insensitive]  Could be fun.

What else is fun is Strait Talk meeting today [slightly dorky]!

If you hadn't noticed, I like the brackets today.

Man, I really wish Cathleen were around to say what day it is today.  :)

The Academic Experience Report

Before we enter the "report", just a note: I am recently very obsessed with this song [it almost seems like it became so much better in the period of time that I have not listened to it]: 单行道 - Faye Wong [the video is pretty abysmal, but the music certainly is not]

It is truly disheartening when you have no sense of purpose or set goal.  I have been in this state for what seems to be 2 or 3 years, after the tragic death of my med school interest.  However, this semester is what I guess you can call a reawakening.  It will be international relations and economics for this indecisive being.

In pursuit of this goal, I have filled my semester with class requirements, which normally would irk me, but I find them all interesting, so my own complaints have fallen upon my own deaf ears.  [Classes - Intro to Chinese History, Principles of Economics, Economic Development and Social Change, Intermediate Chinese]

But this long explanation is all very boring.  I believe studying the necessity and importance of professors to be a more interesting discussion.  Learning Chinese these few days, I realized how much I was actually learning, despite not feeling like I was really learning things in class.  This is significant for me because I have had many failed attempts at learning the language by doing self-study in the past.  So why it is that in a classroom where teachers are repeating, what seems to be, intuitive grammar structure and words I use in daily communication with my Mother, can teach me the language comparatively better than me doing study at my own pace?  Either I am inherently incapable of learning things on my own, or there is something else that a professor, particularly of language, provides, which I cannot get independently.  This same issue arises in economics.  I read the textbook, and I get a pretty good sense of what is going on, but after a lecture, I feel like I still understand it better than when I read the chapter.

There is another class structure that is less puzzling: the kind where the professor provides information outside of the reading assigned.  This makes more sense to me intuitively because I can understand the role of the professor as a guide, leading us to different markers that are important in understanding an intellectual terrain.  This shows up in my Chinese history class, where the connection between text and lecture exists, but the actual information presented in lecture is both supplemental and different.

That leaves me with the kind of class that the professor assigns reading that is questionably related [or just completely unrelated] to the class content and goes on tangents during the class.  This occurs in my Economic development and social change class.  So that leaves me with the question: can I still learn from that kind of class and from that kind of professor?  Since I intend to stay in that class, I can safely say that yes, I believe I can still glean something.  What I can gain is an understanding of perspective.  To explain, the professor presumably understands the subject on which he is lecturing [I would hope].  He decides to go on what seems to be tangents because he views them as related.  If I don't see the connection, or if many people don't see that connection, it is simply a manifestation of the mind map he has created for that subject.  Therefore, I can get a glance of what that subject has led to, in the professor's mind/career.

While I would like to say that these conclusions were made on my own time, and not during a lecture, that would not be entirely true [especially for the last case].  However, knowing this, I believe will enhance the way that I interact intellectually with the classes on hand.

And how is school going for you?

Cycle of Life

Back at Brown.
111 Brown St. holds many surprises. Rooms are smaller than last year :/, but semi-private baths :).

Back to unpacking... :(

On the Sisterhood

I must be extremely strange. From my early days in school, I have often fielded questions about my movie/music/hobby preferences ["You go to the mall?!"], but it seems that these questions will never end. Apparently, it is quite shocking that I would watch movies like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1&2! Sigh. It is difficult to bow to 'normality'.

But that is not the point. After watching the 2nd movie recently[twice actually], I was thinking about the semi-argument that occurred when the girls were facing the reality that their beloved pants were lost. Carmen mentions something to the effect of, "Email, really guys?" She doesn't believe that a friendship can be maintained through a medium that doesn't support visuals or audio, which prompted me to think about the questionable veracity of this argument.

Sure, seeing the person or hearing their voice makes a lot of difference; people's mannerisms tell a lot about their condition. However, is it really the limitations of emailing that hinder the continuation of friendship, or is it that the content of the email is not worded in the most communicative way? I send people interesting articles all the time, some with comments, some without. I shoot people emails every now and then, or talk online. Does that weaken the bond between my good friends and me? Somehow, I disagree. There may be slight stagnation in conversation when we meet again at first, but it is easy to fall in a groove. I contend that having that continual contact helps to show friends that they are remembered. Perhaps it is naive to think so.

-----
Because I am a Tibby fan. Here.



















-----
On another note, I am almost done with my job for the summer. Excellent. I will be a free person soon [unless I continue at school...].

Note: I did delete some entries.

On Mothers and Nationalism

Ah, finally I see an upturn. After a night of worry, my mother's food poisoning case has take a turn for the better. There is something utterly heartbreaking about seeing your mother sick. :(

On another note, Yang Wei won the All-Around Men's gymnastics title. There is something incredibly mesmerizing about the way that he performs, even though this was not even his best performance. He could have stuck a few more landings, but he was in good form and in good mental condition. However, my thoughts regarding the Olympics gymnastics competition so far rest heavily on the nationalism the athletes have exhibited. Their affection for their countrymen, team mates, coaches, and country have moved me in spite of their communistic government. They have rekindled the greatness of the Chinese and have lived out the cry of Dr. Sun Yat Sen. It seems almost a rare moment in which the Chinese ethnic group puts aside their personal ambition to protect and pursue a team interest. While it may not coincide with my personal views, it is heartwarming.

This is a short post, but no more time now.

Sitcom Reflection

Yeap, today was my day off. Brilliant. I took the time to peer into the world television opens.

Of all the television I could end up watching, I flip to Still Standing, a show I have never even heard of before. In the day of "reality" shows and reruns, it turns out some shows still have content and insight into the middle-class. On this episode, the father was lamenting his last opportunity to teach a life skill [driving] to his math-sciency son, one which he blew because he yelled at him about the left blinker.

This prompted me to think about teaching methods, as they seem particularly applicable to my life currently. I remember some of the best lessons I learned were under pressure. Given, I wasn't the most motivated student as a child, but I do think that children need encouragement and pressure. Most students don't understand the impact of learning basics on their future academic progression. For the average kid, complacency should have no place in learning. Should I change the way I approach teaching my students? That remains to be seen.


On to Everybody Loves Raymond...truly inspired.

Posthumous Lessons

When I was little, my grandfather and I always had breakfast together, during which he would tell me about what it means to be Chinese/Chinese values, and other principles. The most memorable, though not most important, was "Stand like a oak tree, walk like the wind, and sit like a sundial."
Roughly translated of course. Another idea ingrained during these morning sessions, was the greatness of the Chinese civilization. He told me that after thousands of years, Chinese people have refined what still puzzles Western culture. He even said that the Chinese have less body hair because we have been wearing clothes longer, teasing a smile from me despite his seriousness. During my brief interlude at Chinese school, I unknowingly said a somewhat denigrating term for Westerners "yang gui zi" [i think 洋鬼子] because that is what I had learned from him. As I grew slightly older, I began to slightly dismiss what I believed to be his ethnocentrism as an outdated attitude. Sadly, I wasn't able to correct my beliefs before he passed away, only a couple months after he gave me his last lesson on Chinese Wang Dao [i think 王道].

Why these things are preying on my mind nowadays results from the termination of my first reading project of the summer. While I believe firmly that Jonathan Spence was as objective as possible, in his objectivity, many feelings of discontent and disbelief arose. The imperialistic notions that I had always condoned, I suppose, struck me as particularly ridiculous. The wars the Qing dynasty was engaged in derived almost exclusively from Britain's [and later Japan, Portugal, France, Germany, Russia, Italy, etc.] aggressive behavior in response to trade reluctance on China's part. This in my mind is like 2 children on a playground with 2 toys. The first child looks at the other child's toy and want to trade. The second child, not wanting to trade, rejects the offer, and then gets beaten up by the first child. Therefore, regarding the term 洋鬼子, I feel that it is absolutely understandable for someone who lived in a period of Western aggression to feel that Westerners are rogues and robbers.
During WWI, the Chinese, not particularly strong militarily, chose to help do work that Europeans needed done to free up men to go to the front. In response to this kind of help, China did not regain their territory. Instead, their gave the territory from one imperialist nation to another.
During China's civil war, the meddling of Americans was what lost China to communism, even though it is arguable that China needed communism to solve its various economic struggles.

There were so many issues brought up in Spence's book that taught me to appreciate my grandfather's thoughts and viewpoints and so many questions I would want to ask someone who actually attended Chiang Kai Shek's Whampoa Academy. That will be my biggest regret in addition to losing a colorful and humorous person who was full of life.

-----

On a second note, I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and I'll email/message you Stella when I get more time on my hands.

-----
Music Note

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uOHFsskRBjc

A song that was performed at the inauguration of Ma Ying Jeou, but one that I have been listening to on a loop. It is a brilliant reflection of the difficulties artists and politicians go through.

It has certainly been a while since the last post. Mostly, it is because of my work and because of the reading project I assigned myself. I am happy to say that I am on page 652 of The Search for Modern China. :D

Of course, these past couple of weeks are not without insight, though hard to express. I was privy to a dizzying peek of how human nature, when combined with the pursuit of money, can be excessively parasitic and cruel. However, I persist in my belief of inborn inequalities and the ultimate superiority of a capitalist society.

Beyond that, musically I focused on reflection as well. While I am not immune to current trends in popular music, I find that in actuality, the content of songs now is not as well developed. There is a segment that continually repeats itself for the duration of the song, instead of new material presented after the main melody occurs. Listening to oldies, both from the West and East, I find this trend disheartening.

In politics, Obama secured the Democratic nomination, leaving me feeling conflicted. It should be no secret that I was a Clinton supporter, and being such, I feel obligated to vote for Obama. However, no matter how much I like some of his policies, I find his lack of FX experience a little alarming, especially in a time when such experience would be incredibly useful. We'll see as we go.


Next on my reading list: The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
Thanks to Stella! :D

Happy Trails to You!
:P

To Make Someone Happy

It really doesn't take much to make someone happy, or at least someone like me. And while I should not disclose any details, I received a response from someone I didn't think would give me the time of day. A few lines, true, but meaningful to me in a way no one can really understand.

It spurred me to think about what it would be like to impact someone so much that they consider your life an example of a life well led. Would you know that you have that kind of influence? If you do know, is it flattering or humbling? It seems strange that sometimes a person can go through their life without ever knowing all of the people they impact. The feeling that you're important must be the best feeling in the world.

Enough.

I finished my finals on Monday, but with the end of year comes a bunch of tasks like moving out. -_- What a nightmare. As I sit here typing, my mind is still on how I am going to fit my dorm room into a couple of boxes. !!!

In between all of these tasks, I stumbled upon a couple of discussion points that, if I were still in high school and in SCOOP, I would make into Scoop Salon topics. The first was courtesy of my high school roommate, who told me that many Asians are thinking of boycotting the movie 21 for "representing" and Asian with a Caucasian, as the story's protagonist was Asian in the book. I had no intention of watching the movie originally, but I fundamentally disagree with this reasoning for not watching the movie. This movie's audience is primarily American, and it seems inherently stupid to market a movie with a cast that the audience cannot relate to fundamentally. Jeff Ma, the original protagonist, who seems a little goofy, says it best: the movie isn't about an Asian who does all of this stuff, but MIT students who are part of this club who do all this stuff [not verbatim]. If that is not convincing enough, there is the point that a lot of Asian films regularly replace Caucasian characters with Asian characters in their movies that are based on other movies or books. It is all about demographics!

There is no doubt that racial discrimination still exists - no one is denying that. However, I am getting mighty tired of people constantly attributing natural inequalities in society to racial factors. Not getting a part or not getting chosen for some scholarship or anything related to such circumstances does not mean that the reason is because you are a certain race. It might be, but it might not be, and they are not going to tell you what the real reason is. If you are truly qualified, they have less of an opportunity to not include you. So jumping to conclusions is not only irresponsible, but it reinforces a very wrong concept that race is the ultimate factor in anything that doesn't go your way. Perhaps considering all possible reasons is better than just attributing it to this. And fundamentally, why focus on such a divisive factor? Why not focus on all the things we have in common as humans? People seem to want to make life harder for themselves...

Second topic of consideration was the love song/breakup song. There is something inexplicably attracting about love songs. If every song ever recorded was added into a total number and the number of love songs were counted, I am sure it would be more than 70% of the total number of songs. However, no one gets tired of listening to a good love song, and even if it isn't considered good, there is someone out there that relates. Why aren't there as many songs about staring off into space or being bored or feeling awkward? Those are equally common in people's lives. Regarding this issue, I have no opinion yet because I absolutely have no idea why. I, personally, would really enjoy hearing a song about how even a person who is no longer a child can feel completely awkward and out of place in social settings. Hopefully I am not the only person who ever felt that way.

Third thinking point was a bit more related to my life. I have no idea what it is I want to do. For someone who always has an opinion and a passion, this is very disconcerting. I am thinking of going into International Relations, but beyond that, I have very little vision of my career or what kind of change or lack of change I wish to bring. I honestly believe that some people shouldn't set out to change the world because sometimes the world is good the way it is. On the other hand, some people are meant to enact changes because they can improve the status quo. I don't know which category I fall under. If the former, what kind of career path can I pursue without impacting the world one bit? If the latter, what kind of change should I focus on enacting?

I heard somewhere that I can't remember now that we should always set out written goals for a time period so that we can't renege on our plans. So I figure I'll just start with summer before I bite off more than I can chew.
Summer goals:
Work for IvyInsiders wholeheartedly and learn more about how a business works
Read The Search for Modern China from cover to cover
Read The World is Flat again more carefully
Study some Chinese vocabulary so that when I start school again I won't die
Read Richard Bush's Untying the Knot
Read Marissa Brown's Is Taiwan Chinese
Read The Moment in Peking again more carefully
Work on my driving confidence and actually...drive without an instructor O_O'

All on top of spending time with my Mother.
I figure I'll add or take off items as time dictates.

Right.


I just realized that I have been working on this post for so long that it has become a different day! That's sad. A blog entry this shallow should not have taken that long.

Oh well.

Back to packing. *drag feet*

The Spectre of Doom

Tomorrow is the day of reckoning.
Cumulative Latin exam.
O_O
Everything is already starting to look like a muddle.

Been downing coffee all weekend. I'll be expecting to look like a brown coffee bean in a while.

Probably should go back to studying. -_-
Eesh.

Summer, please come and rescue me, in a non-damsel in distress kind of way!

Update after exam.
*Slink away*

A Bundle of Laughs

Rifling through the tangled web of blogs, I found these treasures of laughs, although they are quite time sensitive, I feel that their amusement power has not diminished.
Gotten from HERE



So after we all recover from wheezing with laughter...all in good fun.

Today was a rather mundane day in which I was inexplicably tired despite me sleeping a lot. I felt more awake not sleeping than I do when I sleep more. Maybe that is a good thing considering all I have to do this weekend! Those papers are going to be the death of me! And logic!

There was a phrase that popped into my head today, from a long time ago on some program or another. Someone was lamenting why people, often times significant others, need so much support. She, in all her indignation, said to the camera, "What are you, running for office? Why do you need so much support?!" At the time, I laughed it off considering the ridiculous nature of the television show host, but these days, I am more likely to ponder on the implications of such behavior between people. It is obvious that even many of the most confident people have vulnerabilities, but the question is why support from friends or significant others can mitigate those vulnerabilities. Rationally, a stranger with no emotional attachment would give you a much more accurate view of you simply because there is no concern of hurt feelings. Hearing comforting words of support from friends should not make us feel better because it is very likely just mollifying words. Just like the analogy to elections, the support you get, is fickle and not entirely sincere. Cynical? True, but still often times true. I figure it would be more productive to support ourselves, which is difficult, but ought to be more emotionally satisfying.

Now.

The Pie Reception

New York Times Op-Ed writer and 3 times Pulitzer Prize winner Thomas Friedman visited my school today, and the welcoming reception included a pie in the face [or more like on his shirt]. Before the lecture started, two as of yet unknown guys ran towards him with a police officer in hot pursuit and pied him. While it is as of yet unknown why Friedman elicited such a strong reaction, having few opinions that a truly radical or ultra-conservative. It is a strange situation. However, that is besides the point because no one, no matter if their ideas are disagreeable or they are just plain ridiculous, which he clearly is not, no one should receive that kind of treatment because it is a basic kind of human respect. This kind of treatment does nothing to the person receiving the treatment, but reflects very poorly on the perpetrator. It is very upsetting to see such negative actions from my schoolmates.

The actual content of his lecture was very enlightening, and we got a preview of Friedman's next book, tentatively called Flat, Hot, and Crowded. He talks about how the US post 9/11 has been walled off, much like a US consulate in Istanbul after the bombing of a neighboring UK consulate, preventing us from making relationships as a nation with others and within our own country amongst ourselves. This effectively sets the stage to make the connection that environment problems are not primarily associated with saving the world as much as saving the US. He then talks about Petro-Dictatorship, which essentially says that by supporting countries with dictators economically though oil purchases, we effectively buy our most needed resource from the people who hate us the most. Friedman follows that by talking about how the loss in biodiversity is treated in an alarmingly blase way, considering the rate, which for any other phenomena would be a warning alarm, but for biodiversity, it is not even registered on an importance meter. He calls this the Age of Noah, when one day, we will only have 2 of 1 species left for every species, and once they die out, it is over. The next subject was the crisis of energy poverty, which is so much more serious than it was before. Nowadays, the availability of resources like the internet is absolutely necessary for the economic and intellectual development of a nation. Before it was the geographic location of, say a library, but now, the internet and the resources it links us to truly determine the kind of innovation in store, essentially creating an exponential drop in the levels between a developed and developing nation. He then talks for the rest of the lecture about the consequences of consuming energy like we have, invoking retribution at a future date. His plan is for us to embrace clean and energy efficient energy and then adopt an ethic of conservation. He tells us that our supposed "Green Revolution" is actually a "Green Party" because in a revolution, something or someone gets hurt, and in a real Green Revolution, oil companies would definitely hurt. A plausible solution is for us to embrace a smart electric grid in which we essentially do day-trading of electrons, effectively linking the internet and our electricity together. His last hurrah in the lecture was to tell us that right now, we are stuck in a rut because of a lack of political leadership to lead us into the Green Revolution. For it to happen, we need someone to focus on price signaling and give incentives, or in other words, we need a market. It was much easier for IT development because it was presenting something with a function not already in the society, but for green technology like solar energy or wind energy, it is competing against something that already exists at a higher price, naturally deterring people from investment. If we can really enter into a Green Revolution, Friedman believes our conflict with Al Quaeda will also be solved because we can "outgreen" our enemies, who often times target our oil transport system and our domestic need for the resource. Friedman says that if only we could be China for a day and force these changes in our government, then we could really achieve the kind of massive change we desperately need.

It was a pretty phenomenal lecture, and surprisingly, considering The World is Flat wasn't the most exciting book, he was rather engaging, more so than Tom Brokaw, who came yesterday. And that isn't a pity compliment for getting pied at my school.


On a separate note, I have an American Presidency test tomorrow, well, no today actually. It will be pretty bad, but I'll just have to grit my teeth and get it over with. *Sigh* Not to mention a Latin translation that is supposed to be...hard I suppose. :/

I am so intellectually exhausted. It is like my mind is running on caffeine stimulation. Hopefully I will be able to finish the last stretch with some vigor. I have a feeling my sophomore year will be much better than my freshman year. This past year has been tough in so many different ways. Thank goodness for music and media for bringing some light and happiness into my life. Therein lies the true value of the entertainment industry and why the stars get paid ridiculous amounts of money. They create an alternate universe for people to visit or stay when this world gets to be too difficult or unpleasant. For my music post, I'll dig into my archives and share this old video, inspirational and a copy of the English version:

Tomorrow Will Be Better 明天會更好 (約22年前的MV)

Mmmm, beautiful, no? Older singers seem to have more distinctive voices than voices of late, with the exception of a few very able singers. Alrighty, off for studying!

EDIT - See the picture of beauty and elegance


If you want to see a heart-warming video of Da S, watch.

This is a way cool widget to add to a blog: Translate

Bow Not for that is "Worshipping"

My Response to a disturbing article found here

I tend to disagree with the points you make. The "modern" Republic of China as it is was ideologically founded on Dr. Sun Yat Sen's writings, which after seeing the disarray that results when trying to set up a democratic system, included a period of political tutelage. Between Generalissimo Chiang Kai Shek and his son, there were steps towards a more democratic system. This led to the free elections that Taiwan ROC enjoys today and the peaceful transition of power between opposing parties. I disagree fundamentally that the Chiangs were trying to set up a "cult" and have people worship them. To them, following Dr. Sun's plans was the wise thing for Taiwan ROC, and that is what they tried for.

Secondly, to say that Ma Ying Jeou is "worshiping" at the tomb is as absurd as saying that people who have pictures of their dead loved ones which they bow to are worshiping their ancestors. It is a custom of paying respect, something that many people do not have anymore. Dismantling memorials and tarring the dead does nothing to improve the nation-state. Instead it is just a ploy to unleash any pent up anger or frustration against history. Ma Ying Jeou is not only educated in the modern sense, but also classically educated, which means he understands that there is a certain obligation to, if not honor, at least respect the dead. Bowing at a tomb of a leader he respects is not out of order.

Bearing in mind, I do not "worship" the Chiangs, in reading this article, I get the impression that it is severely biased in its opinion of the Chiang family. Also, although I understand that the critiques of Ma Ying Jeou have been few because they focus on his charisma, I also understand that it does not mean that he is inherently flawed more than any other politician. I would argue that he has tried to better himself and has shown that he has an actual plan in helping Taiwan ROC become a part of the international economy, rather than alienating a significant powerhouse.


--------------
On the supposed "CKS personality cult" and the renamed memorial hall:

The idea of a "CKS personality cult" is absurd. It was wrong of the current administration to change the name first because it is not a government office or anything similar to that, it is a memorial. It would be like one day someone saying, "Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and we don't condone that, so we are going to rename the Jefferson Memorial the People are Equal Memorial." A memorial is in memory of a person or event, not something you can just change because you disagree with the person's viewpoints.

As for Ma Ying Jeou, he is modernizing Taiwan ROC's foreign policy as it needs to be modified before Taiwan ROC has no political clout whatsoever. The world is not going to one day decide, "You know what, let's not listen to the PRC because we don't care what nuclear weapons could do to this world." Be real. Taiwan ROC needs to protect its independent democratic government system and economy before things deteriorate further.

--------------

On a different note:
The Pope visits the US and in Yankee Stadium says this [NYTimes]:

[The pope said American Catholics needed to unite behind church teachings and resist the challenges of living in a society that increasingly values secularism, a theme he has repeated throughout his six-day visit.

“It means overcoming every separation between faith and life, and countering false gospels of freedom and happiness,” he said. “It also means rejecting a false dichotomy between faith and political life."]

This is...wrong...on so many levels. First, the "society" does not values secularism. It is the government that should value secularism for without it, it creates a discriminating environment for the people not of that religion. I am the first to say that family values have deteriorated over the years and that alcoholism, drug use, and sexual promiscuity are bigger problems in our society that most people recognize, but that does not warrant governmental embrace of religion. Secondly, just which religion does he propose we as a society to embrace. If it is Catholicism, then what about all of the other people in the country who are of different religions and hold different beliefs. Ideologically, the United States of America is a land of societal acceptance of people of all backgrounds. Whether this is true in practice or not is not the point. The point is that if we as a "society" change this fundamental premise that in the regulations of society, we keep religion separate, then there will be more problems than just the ones named above. There will be no cohesiveness as a nation.

I have no problem with the Pope himself, but his words...I simply cannot agree.

-------------

Lastly, most [in Taiwan ROC] know of the singing show Xing Guang Bang and Yoga Lin who sang the song "You Are My Eyes", but I recently found the original singer's rendition. Incredibly moving to the point that you wish to tear out your own eyes and give them to him simply to let him do all the things he wants to do in the song.

Listen and weep, y'all:
My favorite performance - 蕭煌奇 - 你是我的眼 on Kang Xi Lai Le
The Official MV - 蕭煌奇 你是我的眼 (2008 KTV)

----------

EDIT: Another note on Taiwan R.O.C. in response to these articles 1 and 2:

I don't know that I agree with you on your association between Pro China and Pro KMT. I affiliate myself with the KMT, as much as I can not living in Taiwan ROC, but in my study of KMT rhetoric and history, you have misrepresented the KMT agenda. Decades ago, the KMT agenda was to reunite the Republic of China, meaning to reunited the mainland and Taiwan ROC under the Republic of China. Nowadays, the KMT viewpoint has modified to accommodate the reality of the PRC's economic and political power. Under such circumstances, they try to maintain the democratic integrity of Taiwan ROC without alienating the PRC, in order to incorporate Taiwan ROC into the international economy and community, rather than find itself on the outside of every major organization. This is because the reality is that the PRC is not going to relent in the "One China" policy, and the world is not going to recognize an independent Taiwan ROC. Therefore, maintaining the integrity of Taiwan ROC's independent government system and cooperation is comparatively more beneficial than the alternative.

As I mentioned in another comment that went more extensively into the history of the KMT, I believe your use of unification is misconstruing the meaning of the KMT agenda. The plan of reunification was under the Republic of China, not the People's Republic of China. As Ma Ying Jeou is a pragmatist and has the future of Taiwan ROC in mind, he is trying to establish a connection with the PRC so that Taiwan ROC can actually take part in the international economy and community. This is absolutely necessary for Taiwan ROC's domestic trade and economic structure depends heavily on foreign investments and interaction on an international level. The current state is not acknowledged by the world with the exception of 10-20 countries. The rest of the countries can trade with Taiwan ROC, but at the emergence of a possible ultimatum from the PRC, that could effectively paralyze Taiwan ROC's economy.

It frustrates me to no end when people associate the KMT and Ma Ying Jeou to "selling out Taiwan ROC" or "Pro China" because that isn't the case. These steps are ultimately to ensure that Taiwan ROC will retain a separate and independent democratic government and a once-again thriving economy.

----------

Another one: Here is the article

Taiwan ROC has some more significant problems than "Taiwanese Nationalism".

Because of decreasing education standards, Taiwan ROC students are no longer superior to modern counterparts in competitive countries like India and China and other countries. Taiwan ROC experienced the technological boom the last couple of decades because the international market saw workers who were clearly superior and worked at a comparatively lower price for that time. Nowadays, Taiwan ROC has gone with the flow in terms of higher wages and education is not what it was. It is slowly losing out to other countries, which effects the economy. Instead of learning useful material, too much time is spent trying to be politically correct and mollify ethnic groups in the language department. While I believe people should be free to speak whatever they want to speak as language is just a communication tool, it is a reality that Taiwanese dialects are the minority in the world. Not many people outside of Taiwan ROC or immigrants from Taiwan ROC speak these languages, and when someone is conducting a trade agreement with other countries, it is still either English or sometimes in Mandarin. That is the reality of the circumstances.

Secondly, while cultural identity is the key/root problem in Taiwan ROC politics and society, the real problem is socio-economic. These differences breed an impression of an even bigger difference in cultural identity. The only real way is to slowly rebuild competitiveness and the economy to help increase the standard of living for everyone in a capitalistic method. Creating Aborigine programs and native programs might help the feel-good factor, but does not help them get out of the cycle of societal alienation and poverty. It can be argued that respect is more important than economic improvements, but at the end of the day, the people creating these programs do not necessarily respect the recipients of these programs anymore than before. They just have a defense against attacks of discrimination now. No, the real way to help is to improve the economy and improve the standard of living across the board.

Lastly, this point is not really related to the previous ones, but just a comment in general. People argue that the KMT is discriminatory, or at least the DPP has for generations. I would argue that everyone is, that every political party or social group is. The DPP was and is just as discriminatory, Hakka clans are, the Aborigines are, and basically every other group is. The thing is that no one can really change these perceptions except time and a common goal, which should be to help Taiwan ROC become more economically involved and prosperous in an effort to solve Taiwan ROC's problems.

My my my
At this rate, I'll never get to my hw, with all of these blogs I have to comment on! :) It's all good though.

The Fire Relit

I have found my new calling. After wandering around this year without a cause to project my passion onto, I went to the Strait Talk meeting today and felt like I have truly been living in a hole. It is a phenomenal initiative trying to open up dialogue lines between students of American, Chinese ROC, and Chinese PRC universities. They talk about current events' impact on relations, economic policy, politics, and keep in mind a historical context. It is a relatively new program, formed 3 years ago, and has so much potential. This is my new SCOOP!

On a separate note, this weekend is going to be quite...bloated...with work. I probably should get a head start. It is just excitement overtook me so I decided to share.

EDIT - I just saw this over at the TigerHawk blog. This video is hilarious!!!

What is in a Name?

Romeo and Juliet was truly a dreadful love story, and I feel awful for quoting it, but I felt it applicable to the current situation between The People's Republic of China and the Republic of China. Far be it to assume that I am a pro-independence or pro-unifier [well, I suppose I am a unifier, but under the Republic of China (Taiwan), not the PRC], but I do hate using people/countries/things and not giving credit.

Why do I say this randomly, for there seems to be no manipulation present? I was recently listening to some of the promotion songs for the Olympics. The people in The Republic of China [Taiwan] are just as proud and excited that the Olympics are going to be in Beijing. It is a matter of ethnic pride, and when it comes down to it, we are all Chinese, no matter if politically affiliated with the country. When there is a triumph by Chinese, everyone remotely connected wants to take their share of the limelight, but on a regular basis, labels have to be carefully applied.

I won't deny that I label myself KMT. I suppose my affiliation biases me in certain ways, but to me, I think that even people like me should overlook labels and just simply realize that we are Chinese. No matter how much time and effort we put in relating a personal story or historical information, the people we tell it to will just make a mental note that we are Chinese, and some might not be happy to be labeled as such. That is all. It is like you are an orange, and when other fruits meet you and say, "Oh, so you are a citrus," and you go, "No, I am an orange." I should like to think that actions distinguish people from different backgrounds, rather than a mere label. Many times, people take the extra effort to verbally distinguish themselves to a point of no doubt, but end up establishing the same impression, just with a different label. So, truly, what is in a name?

I attended a lecture on Taiwan's Past and Present [I noticed the choice of a name neglects to put the official name R.O.C., but I suppose it is just to refer to the actual geographic location rather than a political entity]. The lecturer was Eugene Chen, who apparently worked for AIT for a while. It was mainly an informative lecture rather than an opinionated one, but still very educational. His perspective for viewing the future seemed to be rooted in the significance of cultural identity that led to political affiliation, and presented within the context of history and demographics. He took us through the major historical periods with a peek into the psyche of the people at the time as well as the current breakdown of groups biologically and personal affiliation in the R.O.C. Overall, very informative with two slight problems: A) stylistically, he was probably not as engaging as possible and his eyes radiated a kind of insecurity for some odd reason and B) he worded himself so carefully so as not to show any sort of political bias that some answers were a bit bland. Otherwise, quite intriguing.


In other news, I have decided to take Chinese next semester. I went to visit Professor Hu and she decided that I should be in the Advanced Beginning class. That meeting was so nerve-wracking because I was flashing back the entire time, remembering a time when I guessed apparently so correctly, I was placed in a class that I was ill-prepared for, Honors Chemistry at TAMS. AH! Anyway, she told me to read a sentence, and telling me to guess at words I didn't know, I was torn between actually guessing and whether or not I should guess. It was a predicament. Then I decided to just go for it. But no matter what, I think I will do well because I so want to do well. I am determined to learn Chinese well if it kills me! I will remain illiterate no longer.

Carrying on the music theme from last post, this song sounds nice, old school, but still nice!
Carina Lau[劉嘉玲] and Jeff Chang[張信哲] A Little Moved [有一點動心]


I am tired and I still have a ton of work to do, seeing that I only got back to the dorm at like 9:30, so I will either do it or sleep. No more flood of useless writing. Sleep well dear.

Joy Among Other Things

Spring Break began badly.
My flight got canceled, and then I had to go home the next day, but I guess there are worse things that could happen.
Spring Break got substantially better.
The KMT won the presidential election and Ma Ying-Jeou will be the next president of the Republic of China. Joy of all joys. It is beyond words to describe the feeling of seeing corruption and dishonorable behavior publicly condemned and the public taking responsibility with its votes. The election of Ma Ying-Jeou is an inspiring display of the people reclaiming their sovereignty and the people understanding that the world will not tolerate stupid choices in leadership. No matter how anyone twists it, it is a true triumph of goodness. Mommy and I spent much of Spring Break listening to the very plain but very fascinating family life of the President-elect, and what a coincidence: his second daughter goes to Brown University too as an undergraduate. According to our calculations though, she ought to be in her senior year or something like that. In addition, we went to a movie, The Other Boleyn, and then to Dave and Busters. Funfunfun. In between, I watched the West Wing. Allison Janney is a goddess in all her dramatic/comedic glory. She needs to become [even more so] a hugehugehuge movie/tv star.

Spring Break ended...on a bad note.
My flight again had problems, except this time as a delay that caused me to miss my connecting flight from Newark to Providence. My baggage was not on the plane with me, and so it came at around 1 am in the morning.

All in all, it was good, seeing my Mommy and getting hugs. The only person in the world I most willingly hug.


My Mommy is still talking about meeting people and making friends. It is difficult to tell her that I am just in a sort of...funk I suppose. It is difficult to talk to new people and make friends. I do not really understand why it is that certain people seem to just meet people naturally. Every scenario that I imagine or actually experience involves me being extremely unnatural and awkward. I would probably report someone to the police if they tried to make friends with me like I make friends with people. It is just all a big mess and it seems like it is almost not worth the effort to social with people anymore. Although mind-numbingly teenagerish, One Tree Hill got this part right, "People always leave." If that is the case, then is there a point in creating an emotional cliff to fall off of?

If I perished today, would there be anyone besides my mother who would notice? It seems that as of right now, the first people to notice would be Mommy, and then my roommate, and then my Latin professor. When life should be building up to the ultimate climax of success and happiness, mine seems to be slipping into an abyss in which I have little to no effort to pull up.

Where are them bootstraps?

There is something so phenomenal about this painting that soothes a stormy soul. I do not even like sailing, but Monet makes me want to be there, right there with the water and the boats and that beautiful brilliant sky. It will forever be my favorite painting, even though this horrible scan does not do it justice.


On a very different note, people who are discussing the should/should nots of whether Ma Ying-Jeou's wife should remain a working woman while being First Lady listen up. While it is true that protecting her is a national security issue, she is still an individual with individual achievements and goals. Her fate is inextricably tied with her husband's, but her career and choices are entirely her own. People should not blame her or label her as selfish, for although the word intrinsically holds no negative connotation, people assign it negative connotation. She wants no benefit from his position. Why kill a good woman's career for people's faithlessness in the goodness of people. Innocent until proven guilty applies. Her values and aspirations deserve accolade and instead people shower her with guilt-trips. Give her a break.

A Little Birdie Told Me

A nice little quote popped into my head.

"Because I would do anything for you, there isn't anything I should do for you."

Well, not nice, but works for some, eh?